America’s Enemy: SpongeBob

I hesitated in mentioning the following story, but it’s such a perfect example of the idiocy gripping America that I couldn’t resist spreading the joy. “Christian” fundamentalists have found a new enemy threatening America, the cable television animated character, SpongeBob SquarePants.

Broadcast on the Nickelodeon channel, SpongeBob tells the tale of a sea sponge and his undersea adventures. It seems fundamentalists are upset because SpongeBob is frequently shown holding hands with his aquatic pal, a pink starfish named Patrick.

Speaking at a black-tie gala for Republican members of Congress held on the eve of the inauguration, anti-gay lobbyist James Dobson exhorted his followers to go to war against SpongeBob as part of the “spiritual battle” for the US. Dobson’s ultra-reactionary Focus on the Family group alledges that SpongeBob stars in a new “pro-homosexual video” from the We Are Family Foundation. The video, which has been broadcast on Nickelodeon, makes no mention of sexual identity, but when you have a pink starfish holding hands with a yellow sea sponge… well, obviously western civilization is under attack.

Dobson’s assistant, Paul Batura, said “We see the video as an insidious means by which the organization is manipulating and potentially brainwashing kids.” Before you write these people off as nothing more than extremist zealots, remember - they are the mass base that swept Mr. Bush into power.

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